every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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