Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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