Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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