Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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