I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
