he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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