i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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