Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
