Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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