i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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