Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
