bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
