I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
