He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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