My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
