So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
