I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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