remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
