oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
