who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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