Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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