Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
