i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
