I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
