Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
