He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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