I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
