ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
