Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
