She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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