so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
