hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
