I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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