Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
