Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
