This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
