Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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