Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
