My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
