I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
