Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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