Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
