I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
