I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize