I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
