BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
