Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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