i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize