I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
