Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize