i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've blown a few things in my day
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
