who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
