I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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