Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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