You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
