how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
