sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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