I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
