I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize