Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
