Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
