piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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