Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
