He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize