I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
