we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
