Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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