Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
