yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
