I cockslap morals
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
