We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
