If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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