If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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