Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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