So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
