dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
