i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize