She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
