you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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