i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
