I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
