I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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